The Bachelorette: And so it begins

24 May

If you can’t take the heat, get out of the oven.

That pretty much sums up the entire first episode of The Bachelorette.  Pretty sure that isn’t a saying.

Here are my rawest thoughts on the rawest of reality TV shows… or something.

Intros
-Why oh god why is she dancing?  Enough with the dancing.  You are in dental school not auditioning for the Laker Girls… or are you?
– Ryan P. “Solar Energy Executive”:  Reminds me a little of Dr. Andy Baldwin, no?
-JP  “Construction Management”:  Who doesn’t love a boy in a hard hat?  Looks like the poor man’s Chad Michael Murray.  Buying lots of onions.  Ew.
– Ben C “Lawyer”:  Nawlinz boy!  I like him.  Southern boy.  Seems legit.  Piano player.  Nice touch.
– Ben F. “Wine maker”:  Into brunettes.  He’ll be super into Ashley’s new locks.
– Bentley “Businessman”:  Daughter named Cozy.  Something’s not right about this.
– Anthony “Butcher”:  MEAT!!! (Beast shoutout)
– West Lawyer – Widower:  Purple shirt.  Love him.
– William  “Cellular Phone Salesman”:  Stepping stone to Happiness.  I don’t even know what that means.

Out the limo:
-Ryan P:  He’s stoked to get to know her
-Jon:  Nice tie.  Picks.  Her.  Up.
-Lucas:  Smells good.  (Texas Boy!)
-William:  Something about him creeps me out.  I just can’t put my finger on it.
-Mickey:  Nice try Mickey.  Dude tried to smooch her.
-Tim:  Needs to get his suit sized.  Awkward.  No words.
-Ben C:  Spoke French.  Awesome pink tie.
-St-ephen:  Way to notice her hair color, Mr. stylist man.
-Chris D:  Seems exceptionally suave.  Seems like a good ole midwestern boy
-West:  Broken compass, stuck on West… I kind of dig it.
-Anthony:  Nice gold necklace Anthony.
-Rob:  Yellow tie, awful hair.
-Ames:  Don’t.  Think.  I.  Like.  Him.  Ballet tix.
-Matt:  Love his grey suit, purple tie combo.  Taught her his secret handshake.  Kinda cute, maybe?
-Jeff:  Mask.  Guy.  No.
-Ben F. Brought wine for a toast.  Pretty cute.
-Frank:  picks her up.  why do guys do that??
-Michael:  totally should have shaved today.
-Chris (pinstripes):  CANADIAN!!
-Ryan M.:  Cute.  Like the striped ties.  Might be gay for Chris Harrison
-JP:  Still the poor man’s Chad Michael Murray
-Nick:  A poem.  Enough with the poems people!!
-Blake:  Fellow dentist.  Boring.  Typical
-Bentley:  Tool.
-Constantine:  Before reality tv I had no idea so many dudes were named Constantine.  Dude brought floss and tied it on her hand like a ring.  Can’t decide if I love it or hate it.

Cocktail Party Highlights
-Matt:  Made her call his mom.  Awkward.  So.  Awkward.
-Guitar in the pool  Love.
-Tim is so awkward.  And drunk., he leaves.  Sad & tragic exit.

Roses go to:
Ryan P (first impression rose)
Jeff
Constantine
Ben F
Lucas
Stephen
Matt
Nick
Chris D.
Ryan M
Blake
Ben C
West
JP
Ames
Bentley
and two other dudes I missed… anyone catch them?

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3 Responses to “The Bachelorette: And so it begins”

  1. [SMASH] at Sweat. Style. Swoon. May 25, 2011 at 2:44 pm #

    I only got a see a little of this episode and couldn’t record it so I need to watch it online at ABC.com this week. Excited for this season, even though Ashley H. wasn’t one of my faves last season.

  2. [SMASH] at Sweat. Style. Swoon. May 26, 2011 at 2:57 pm #

    Okay, finally watched last night. Seriously, why do guys try to pick up girls? I’d be so mortified. The one who really stands out is JP, like you said the poor girl’s Chad Michael Murray. And I want to punch Bently in the face.

    • linzlikewhoa May 26, 2011 at 7:30 pm #

      RIGHT?!! He is so shady. I hate him already.

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